


tonight in the moonlight when I'm alone with you

by singing_to_shipwreck (shocked_into_shame)



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, I have been notified that the song is actually from s1e1 when guillermo is putting nandor to coffin, M/M, literally tooth-rotting fluff, nandor is an idiot, the title is from a song from the show and i think its in a scene with colin and evie but fuck it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23764819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shocked_into_shame/pseuds/singing_to_shipwreck
Summary: Nandor wants to be nice. He wants to show Guillermo that he cares. But it is so very hard to be nice when you are used to all of the torturing and the killing and the pillaging.
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 383





	tonight in the moonlight when I'm alone with you

**Author's Note:**

> Big big thank you to womenseemwicked for the lovely ideas that basically helped me write this fic. 
> 
> It ended up being a little cheesier, a little more OOC than I had anticipated. But that's okay. Fluff for you all.
> 
> Enjoy!

Nandor stands in the middle of Guillermo’s closet-room, looking entirely too large for the tiny space. His hands are hidden behind his back as he waits for his familiar to notice him.

Guillermo sits at his desk, typing furiously at his laptop, seemingly completely unaware of the presence behind him. The vampire sighs and clears his throat loudly, and Guillermo jumps in his seat, slamming his laptop shut. “What do you need, master?” he asks in a rush, swiveling around in his chair, eyes wild. 

“I have something for you!” Nandor replies in a delighted sing-song voice, revealing what he’s holding behind his back.

It’s a large bouquet of flowers – dozens and dozens of them – of all sorts of colors and types. Guillermo gasps in surprise, sending a quick, confused look to the camera.

“For me?” he echoes, pointing to himself, before leaning forward to bury his face in the flowers, taking a deep inhale and smiling widely. “What are they for, master?”

Nandor’s brows furrow. He worries his bottom lip with a long, pointed fang. Guillermo looks at him expectantly.

“This room is depressing. It makes me depressed to think about it. And it smells horrible... So the flowers will fix it.”

Guillermo turns toward the camera, a blank look on his face. He blinks slowly.

* * *

Guillermo adjusts a trinket as he dusts, swaying slightly on his feet. His eyes are drifting closed, dark circles apparent underneath them, and his body is teetering as he reaches across the mantle to dust.

“Guillermo,” Nandor calls out across the fancy room, sprawled out on the sofa. “ _Guillermo._ ”

“Huh?” Guillermo asks blearily, spinning around. He teeters again, stifling a yawn.

“Guillermo,” Nandor repeats. “Why don’t you come sit next to me for a while?”

“No, that’s okay, master. I’m behind on my chores as it is.”

Nandor glances quickly at the camera and shakes his head. “No, Guillermo. Take a rest. Do not worry about your chores.”

Guillermo practically slumps at that, like the will to stand up straight leaves him. He plops himself down on the sofa near his master, curling up against the arm and closing his eyes, a big smile on his face. “Thank you, master… I’ll only close my eyes for a minute.”

Nandor looks down at him with a small, fond expression on his face, lips curling up at the edges privately as he gazes at his resting familiar. Suddenly his eyes dart up to the camera, like he is just now realizing the crew is still there. “Good. Just for a moment, then, and then you will finish your chores. This house is filthy. But it would be very annoying if you were to faint, Guillermo. A real inconvenience for me.”

Guillermo’s eyes open just enough for him to send a frustrated look to the camera, still slumped over on the couch.

* * *

Nandor takes off his cape and Guillermo puts it aside before grabbing his master’s brush and running it through his dark hair. Guillermo is frowning slightly, his shoulders slumped.

“Are you alright, Guillermo?”

Guillermo sighs and continues to brush Nandor’s hair. “Yes, master.”

“Are you lying, Guillermo?”

The shorter man huffs out a long breath before admitting, “Yes, master.”

Nandor’s thick brows raise up to his forehead and he spins around, giving his familiar an equal parts inquisitive and disapproving look.

“I’m just…” Guillermo trails off, clearly at odds with himself. He takes a deep breath and sets down the hairbrush gently. “I’ve just been feeling a little lonely during my days, master. I guess I’m a little sad you’re going to bed and I will be alone again. But it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

Nandor pouts slightly. “Well… if you are sure. Goodnight, Guillermo.”

* * *

Guillermo is rearranging books on a shelf when Nandor suddenly appears in the frame, holding something small bundled up in a blanket.

“Gui-eeeeeermo,” Nandor drawls musically.

Guillermo jumps and drops one of the books with a heavy thud. Nandor squints at him and he rushes to return the book to its place on the shelf. “What is that you have there, master?” he asks, eyeing the blanket warily.

A high pitched mewl answers him. His eyes go comically wide behind his large glasses. He reaches forward toward the blanket but then hesitates. “What is that?”

Nandor grins and opens the blanket to reveal a small, orange kitten, who looks up at Guillermo with big green eyes and meows again. “It is a little friend for you to spend the days with,” he explains excitedly.

Guillermo gasps, his hands flying up to cover his mouth, holding back an excited yelp. “Oh, master,” he breathes, voice thick with emotion. “I love him!” He reaches forward, taking the kitten from Nandor and smiling widely as it licks his hand. “I know just what to call him.”

“What?” Nandor leans forward in anticipation.

Guillermo smiles knowingly. “John.”

Nandor looks taken aback at that, before realization settles and his eyes are very obviously welling with tears. His voice is equally thick with emotion as he breathes, “Yes. Well… now you can stop complaining to me about being lonely. It is very annoying.”

He leaves in a flurry of capes, leaving one confused Guillermo standing and looking at the camera with an eyebrow raised, kitten still in his arms.

* * *

Guillermo is sitting cross-legged on his bed, staring into the camera as he plays with John in his lap. “I think Nandor has been trying to… do nice things for me? I can never be sure with him. He keeps giving me things, like John here,” he lifts the kitten slightly. “And then he goes and ruins it with a rude comment or he gives me an order or he runs off.”

He curls his lip as he pets the cat. “Either way, I love this cat. _Everyone_ loves this cat. I mean, you saw how it went down with Nadja and Laszlo.”

_“Nadja, Laszlo!” Nandor calls from the library._

_“What is it?” Laszlo bites, unamused as he strides through the door._

_“We have a new housemate! Say hello to the new John!”_

_Guillermo reveals the tiny kitten, trepidation clear on his face. Nadja and Laszlo stare at it in silence for a beat before Nadja squeals, clapping her hands excitedly."Oh, look at this stupid little baby cat, Laszlo!”_

_“I can see it,” Laszlo says cheerily, looking at the camera. “A very cute stupid little baby cat, indeed.”_

_There is a cut and Nadja and Laszlo are now sitting on the floor, playing with the cat and some black yarn. Nandor is standing in the corner, smiling at the scene. Guillermo looks up at his master, affection blossoming on his face._

_Nandor glances at his familiar, catching him looking at him, and instantly squashes down his smile, face becoming serious. Guillermo looks at the camera with a frown._

“So, really,” Guillermo starts. “I really don’t know what’s going on.” He furrows his brow and asks the camera, “Do you think he’s trying to tell me something?”

* * *

“I am trying to tell Guillermo something,” Nandor admits to the camera, legs splayed out to the side on his sofa and hand resting on his knee. “I am trying to let him know that I do care about him. I am trying to be…” Nandor grimaces, forcing out the next word. “Nice.”

The vampire sighs dramatically and props his chin up with his hand. “But it is hard to be nice when you are so used to all the killing and the torturing and the pillaging. And it’s especially hard to be nice to a _human_ ,” his voice drops, like he has said a dirty word.

He suddenly swings his legs off of the couch, leaning forward on his knees and whispering conspiratorially. “Really I did all of those things because I wanted to make Guillermo happy. Because when he is happy, I am happy. Crazy, I know!”

* * *

It is just past 12 in the morning when Nandor’s voice echoes through the house “Guillermo! Could you come here a second, please?”

Guillermo instantly puts down his window cleaner and rushes to his master, who is standing in the kitchen. It is a small, unassuming room, with décor that does not match the rest of the house. There is a sink with two mugs in it, an old stove, a cheap microwave on the counter, and a small refrigerator. Nandor is standing at the counter wearing a pair of red oven mitts and grinning.

“What are you doing in the kitchen, master?” Guillermo asks, stepping forward.

“Well, I have noticed, Guillermo, that you are eating nothing but these…” he trails off, gesturing towards the freezer. “Hungry Hippo frozen dinners.”

“Hungry Man.”

“Yes, that is what I said.”

“Yes, master.”

“Why are you eating these sad little cardboard meals?”

Guillermo’s eyes dart to the camera and then the floor, his cheeks rosy. “They’re easy. And cheap.”

Nandor purses his lip. “Well!” he announces proudly, flourishing his cape. “No hungry hippos—”

“—hungry man—”

“That is what I said. No hungry men for you tonight! I have made you a traditional Al Quolanudarese feast!”

Nandor steps aside, revealing a bowl on the counter. The camera zooms in on it. It is filled with a gray substance that one might only be able to describe as slop.

Guillermo plasters on a nervous smile, looking at the bowl. “Oh… wow…” He says. Nandor sticks a fork into the slop and shoves the bowl at Guillermo proudly. Guillermo takes a deep breath before tuckering in, coughing on the first bite. “Mmm,” he grits, nearly choking.

Nandor’s face falls as he watches. “Well, it was supposed to be a traditional feast. You know, I forgot the recipe… And we didn’t have the right ingredients… and of course I couldn’t taste test it to be sure that it was good.”

Guillermo sets down the bowl and smiles genuinely. “Thank you, master. I appreciate you going to all of the trouble for me.”

Nandor grits his teeth, looking at the camera and then back to Guillermo and then back to the camera again, his hands in fists at his sides. “… You’re welcome,” he forces out. Then he relaxes, almost as though he’s only now realizing he won’t be struck down for it. Guillermo beams at him.

“Okay, Guillermo. You don’t have to pretend that this is edible anymore,” he says, grabbing the bowl and throwing it in the sink.

“Thank you, master.”

“Let me take you to a place that makes the modern version of my traditional food.”

“Oh, are we going to that Persian restaurant in West Brighton?”

Nandor’s face falls. “Have you been?”

“No! No.” Guillermo shakes his head furiously and Nandor smiles, walking out of the room. Behind his back, Guillermo nods to the camera _yes, he has been_.

* * *

The camera is positioned outside of the empty restaurant, where an impatient waitress waits for Guillermo to finish his food so she can get the hell home already.

Guillermo is eating from a plate of delicious-looking food, and Nandor is watching him with a huge smile on his face. Once Guillermo is finished, Nandor shoves an ancient coin at the waitress who looks too tired to fight him on it, and they walk out of the restaurant together.

“So, back home?” Guillermo asks.

“Well…” Nandor trails off, looking down at the sidewalk. “The night does not have to be over yet. It is getting warmer. Maybe we could go for a walk in the park?”

Guillermo smiles up at him. “I’d like that, master.”

The camera follows behind them as they walk to the park, their hands nearly brushing at their sides multiple times along the way. Once they get to the park, Nandor turns around and gives the cameramen a _shoo_ gesture as he bares his teeth. The image cuts off suddenly.

* * *

The camera zooms in on Nandor and Guillermo from a distant vantage point. The image of the vampire and his familiar sitting on a park bench is grainy. Their lips are moving, but they are inaudible.

Guillermo’s shoulders shake with laughter, and Nandor smiles genuinely at him, inching closer to him on the park bench so their sides are pressed close together. He very exaggeratedly yawns, stretching his arm around his familiar’s shoulders. Guillermo looks up at him, mouth agape, affection in his eyes.

The vampire looks away, tentative, before leaning down and giving Guillermo a soft kiss. When he pulls away, the glee on Guillermo’s face his obvious, and he stands up, offering his hand out, mouth moving. Nandor stands and grabs his hand tightly as they walk back in the direction of their home.


End file.
